When Lying is (Absolutely) Necessary

Rabbi Reuven Mann

Parshas Toldot takes up the life story of the third and final Patriarch, Yaakov Avinu (our forefather). His trajectory was more complicated than that of his predecessors. His task was not merely to sustain and somewhat expand the religious system of Avraham, but to facilitate its transformation into a national movement. The most basic requirement of this endeavor was the establishment of the Twelve Tribes, each of which would be a component of the Chosen Nation.

Yaakov and Eisav: Two Paths, Two Natures

It should be noted that people, by their very natures, are cut out for different tasks. For example, the Torah clearly delineates the natural differences between Eisav and his twin brother Yaakov. The former was an outdoorsman, who loved to hunt and was apparently very good at it. He was also very solicitous of his father, whom he treated with great respect.

The Torah testifies concerning Yitzchak that he loved Eisav because “the hunt was in his mouth” (Bereishit 25:28). What exactly does that mean? On the most straightforward level, it means that Eisav prepared tasty meals from the animals he hunted and served them to his father. This elicited a natural sense of appreciation and love from his father. But is that by itself a sufficient basis to award his father’s blessings?

The Rabbis interpret the words “the hunt was in his mouth” (Bereishit Rabbah 63:10) to refer to the mouth of Eisav. They mean that Eisav was a very smooth operator who knew exactly how to convey the impression that suited his interests. Eisav very much wanted the approval of his father, and he knew that great hunting skills alone would not be sufficient to impress Yitzchak–who was raised in the philosophy of Avraham Avinu. So Eisav contrived to present himself as one who engaged in physical conquests purely for the sake of performing Mitzvot. First and foremost, he was meticulous in fulfilling the commandment of honoring one’s father and mother.

But that wasn’t all. He knew how effective it was to convey impressions by asking informed and challenging questions–what we would call Shailot (legal Torah inquiry). If you come to your Rabbi every week with a list of detailed and thoughtful Halachic (Torah law) inquiries, which reflect a very deep interest in those areas, the Rabbi will take note. He will assume you are a sincere, meticulously observant individual who is determined to perform the Mitzvot correctly, and it will not occur to him that it’s all a charade to make an impression.

The ability of the wicked to effectively pose as Tzadikim (righteous individuals) constitutes a great problem for mankind. This was the challenge faced by Yaakov. He knew that Eisav had succeeded in winning the love of his father, who held a very high opinion of Eisav’s spiritual potential. But Eisav was not successful in fooling everyone. The verse states simply that “Rivkah loves Yaakov” (Bereishit 25:28).

Rivkah’s Insight and the Threat to the Abrahamic Mission

She recognized and fully appreciated the religious level of her younger son, who was a “wholehearted man, who dwelled in tents” (Bereishit 25:27). As Rashi points out, these were the study houses of Shem and Ever, where Yaakov spent all of his time seeking the Wisdom of Hashem. Both Rivkah and Yitzchak recognized the unique spiritual level of Yaakov, but they disagreed about the true character of Eisav. Matters came to a head when Yitzchak decided to confer the blessings on the elder twin. Rivkah recognized the danger to the Abrahamic movement that this entailed.

Throughout history, corrupt demagogues have been able to amass great power by their ability to deceive the masses by posing as their champion. The Jewish people have, unfortunately, suffered greatly from charlatans who distorted Judaism to advance their position.

This was a very delicate moment in the process of forming the Jewish Nation. Had Eisav been promoted to be a leading figure of Israel, it would have been a disaster which could have spelled the very end of the Abrahamic religion. But that decision was completely in the hands of Yitzchak, who instructed his elder son to “…make delicacies such as I love and bring it to me and I will eat; so that my soul may bless you, before I die.”

Rivkah overheard Yitzchak’s instructions to Eisav and perceived the great danger that posed for the authentic religious movement of Avraham. She did not want to confront her husband directly as Sarah had done when she decided that Yishmael was a serious threat to the future leadership role of Yitzchak. In order to thwart Yitzchak’s intention, she had to solicit Yaakov to participate in her elaborate scheme of deception in which Yaakov would pose as Eisav and bring his father the tasty dishes, which Rivkah would prepare for him. And perhaps the most challenging aspect of this daring plan was the necessity it created for Yaakov to blatantly lie to his father.

Yaakov had considerable resistance to doing what his mother wanted and was most fearful that if Yitzchak discovered the ruse it might gravely harm his relationship with his father. But Rivkah reassured him that if things fell apart she would assume the complete blame, and Yaakov reluctantly agreed to pretend that he was Eisav.

The Dilemma of Deception: Was Yaakov Allowed to Lie?

The scene that took place was most dramatic.

“[Yaakov] came to his father and said, ‘Father.’ [Yitzchak] said, ‘Here I am; who are you, my son?’ Yaakov said, ‘I am Eisav, your firstborn. I did as you told me; please come, sit down, and eat of my game, in order that your soul may bless me.’” (Bereishit 27:18–19)

While it seems clear that Yaakov declared a blatant untruth, Rashi seems to take his words differently. Rashi breaks down his statement this way: “I–am the one who is bringing to you, and Eisav–he is your firstborn”.

At first glance, this Rashi is perplexing. Does he mean to say that it is permissible to pronounce a falsehood as long as the words can be rearranged to conform with the truth? That certainly is not the way that the listener hears the statement. At the very least, it is a blatant deception to say words that clearly mean that you are declaring yourself to be Eisav. What is the meaning of Rashi’s challenging interpretation?

I believe it may be understood as follows: The Torah says, “Distance yourself from falsehood” (Shemot 23:7). This indicates that man’s perfection depends upon his adherence to truth in all matters. Lying is a terrible sin, because it distorts a person’s sense of reality and prevents him from living a truthful life.

However, there are circumstances in which one is obligated to falsify certain information in order to prevent a catastrophe or to preserve a vital ideal. Sometimes the truth can be fatally destructive—for example, when a doctor knows that a fragile patient will be crushed by the news that they have a terminal illness. A wise and caring person must be judicious in what he says, and must recognize that there are situations in which he must utter words that are not, in fact, entirely accurate.

That was the situation in which Rivkah and Yaakov found themselves. Had Yitzchak conferred the blessings on Eisav, it would have conveyed to the world the falsehood that Eisav was the legitimate spiritual heir of the Abrahamic religious movement. That would have constituted a greater distortion of truth than Yaakov identifying himself as Eisav. It was therefore morally correct to thwart Yitzchak’s intention and for Yaakov to pretend that he was Eisav and thus attest to his father, “I am Eisav your firstborn son”.

The Spiritual Cost of Falsehood

If it was permitted for Yaakov to lie in this situation, why does Rashi seek to mitigate that fib, by implying that Yaakov did actually speak the truth? I believe that Rashi is saying that Yaakov was concerned that he should not suffer spiritual harm as a result of verbalizing a falsehood. So as he was saying the words, he reviewed in his own mind the actual truth, i.e., “No! I am Yaakov, the one who is bringing you the food. It is Eisav who is your Bechor (firstborn)”. He did not want to allow himself to derive any psychological pleasure from the deception he was forced to perpetrate upon his father.

This danger of lying, even when it is warranted, is expressed in a story from the Talmud (Yevamot 63a). The Talmudic sage Rav was married to a woman who would cause him distress by not making the meals he desired. If he asked her to prepare lentils, she would make beans, and if he asked for beans, she would provide lentils. When his son Chiya grew up, he switched around his father’s requests so that she would make him what he actually wanted. Rav told his son that things had improved, but Chiya then told him about the trick he was employing. Rav responded, “Now I understand what people say: ‘You can learn something from your son.’ But you should not continue to do this, because it says, ‘They train their tongue to speak falsehood, striving to be iniquitous.’” (Jeremiah 9:4)

We all confront many situations in which it is tempting to put a spin on things and manipulate the facts so that they are more in line with our interests. Many have a very sophisticated capability to talk their way out of the most challenging situations. This may fill them with a great deal of pride, and they will brag about their verbal “conquests” to their friends. But we should be cognizant that these arts of deception may be harmful to the soul.

Rather we must seek, as the title of an important ethical work by Rav Eliyahu Dessler exhorts us, to Strive for Truth! This lofty ideal is incorporated into our daily prayers. “A person should always be G-d-fearing, privately and publicly, acknowledging the truth and speaking it in his heart.”

May Hashem assist us in the vital endeavor to attain the true fear of Heaven, whose hallmark is an absolute commitment to truth.

Shabbat Shalom.