- Friendship Equals Love and Compassion
- Rivka Olenick
-
- "A friend loves at all times and becomes as a brother in
adversity." Proverbs 17:17
-
- Who is a true friend? It is someone whose philosophical life and
values we share. A true friend cares about each other's well-being and
are happy to share in each others goals, achievements, and growth. A
true friend enjoys sharing ideas relating to the philosophy of Judaism
and of Torah, since this is the essence of their friendship. One
shouldn't think, "I'll keep this information to myself so I will
become greater than my friend." Sharing knowledge is the basis
and essential part of the friendship that gives each one the strength
and courage to continue in their search for truth and continuing along
the path in doing God's will.
-
- How much time can friends spend in meaningless talk? Talking about
the stock market for hours doesn't provide real growth. Real growth
can only come through Torah thought, through acquiring knowledge.
Stock is acquisition growth of a different kind! True friendship
continues with each one helping the other to correct their thoughts by
communicating and exchanging ideas by searching for truth together. In
the most ideal way we nurture our friendships this way and we prove to
each other that we are loyal to the friendship by being involved in
God's wisdom together. The strongest bonds of friendship can be
maintained this way and help to bring peace to each other's lives.
-
- There is mutual respect and enjoyment in the good and pure traits
and intentions our friend possesses. We are there for each other not
only in the good and joyful times, but also in times of great sorrow
and adversity. For in times of sorrow it is this friend who remains.
Why, because the friendship was cultivated by the searching for and
the sharing of truth to begin with. Sorrow and times of distress is
also truth Sorrow and crisis are part of the reality, of life. And so
our "true friend" is there for us and with us and is willing
to help us with the burdens that adversity brings. Your friend
understands the idea: "Love your neighbor as yourself." And
so your friend commiserates with you and listens to you sincerely and
encourages you to speak freely from your heart about your sadness.
There is trust between you and your friend wants to help you because
he/she knows that you are feeling over whelmed and vulnerable. Your
friend also understands that chesed isn't only in giving
"things" to each other, chesed is also giving of oneself by
genuinely caring.
-
- Friend equals love and compassion. There cannot be true friendship
without compassion. From the book Horeb, Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch
says: "Compassion is the warning voice of duty, which points out
to you your brother in every sufferer, and your own sufferings in his,
and awakens the love which tells you that you belong to him with all
his sufferings with all the powers that you have. Do not suppress this
compassion! If you do it will no longer well up of itself, and you
will have cut yourself off from the company of all your fellow
creatures. You yourself will have destroyed the first proof of your
mission as man and Israelite. Your heart becomes a stone and there no
longer sounds in it the voice of God, reminding you of your
mission."
-
- In times of your distress the true face of your friend's compassion
shows. This is how we know for sure if our friend is sincere no
other way can express this. This is what to look for in a true
friendship.
-
- Compassion. Don't think that expressing compassion is a sign of
weakness, it is not. Don't be trapped by the fake Hollywood standards
of friendship. To the contrary, compassion is the deepest emotion a
person can express because it is also part of love. There is no real
love without compassion and no real compassion without love. It's
impossible to have one without the other. So, what if there were no
one on earth, and you were left alone; to whom would you show your
compassion? Who would be your friend? So, don't say, "Well, my
friend will always be there for me, no matter what." That is not
always true. We should never take each for granted or take advantage
of each other. Every friend's job is to be involved in their friend's
perfection within their capability. Every conversation and meeting is
an opportunity to be of help to your friend. Every situation,
especially if it is challenging is an opportunity to look into
yourself and improve yourself. Your friend's challenging situation is
an opportunity for you to be involved in chesed, chesed shel emes with
that friend. Be as honest with yourself as possible and be sure about
who you choose to be your friend.
-
- In adversity does your friend love at all times and becomes as a
brother?
-
|