- Who is Happy?
Rivka Olenick
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- Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch states in Horeb:
"It is not how little or how much you have that makes you small
or great but how little or how great you are with what you have."
This concept is very difficult to put into practice, especially when
we desire to possess what our neighbors have. We often measure our own
happiness in life by looking at what we don't have. Does it really
matter if our neighbor has a bigger house or better car or more things
to fill their house or anything else for that matter? Bigger and
better just means more responsibility and worry - and it is all
temporary "false" happiness, not long lasting
"real" happiness. The minute we see our neighbor with
something that we think we must have, then what we already possess
seems empty. It's what we desire and don't have that appears so much
more attractive. Everything you don't have you want and whatever you
do have seems unattractive. So the cycle continues and the fantasies
fuel the cycle. The more time and energy a person spends in acquiring
possessions the more unhappy a person becomes, because there is no
real value in pursuing "possessions." The only thing we
acquire from endless "possessions" is endless
responsibility. And the responsibility does become endless and futile
and takes a person away from their real purpose in life, the purpose
that truly makes a person happy.
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- We've all heard people say they feel unhappy
because they want but don't have what others have - and yet what they
do have, they take for granted. "If I only had more money, I know
I'd really be happy!" Everything that one already has that made
one happy originally, was given by God - so why unhappiness now?
Hasn't God provided you with everything you need, and each time you
obtained a new thing you were happy? Now you are unhappy and so you
blame God! The Rambam says: "The numerous evils to which
individual persons are exposed are due to the defects existing in the
persons themselves. We complain and seek relief from our own faults;
we suffer from the evils which we by our own free will, inflict on
ourselves, and then ascribe them to God, who is far from being
connected to them!" (Guide for the Perplexed, Chapter XII pg.
267).
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- God set up the world so that we all can be
happy by doing the good, the good is the real happiness not the
pleasures that we imagine is real happiness. How does a person
continue on the way to a happier life? By involving oneself in Torah
study, learning about and doing good deeds, and directing one's life
towards the middle path. Happiness in doing good begins when a person
spends as much time as possible thinking and learning. Acquiring ideas
and wisdom that can passed on to one's family and friends. This real
"acquisition" and investment in life is what gives a person
strength and contentment to continue in the right direction. A person
will feel satisfied that they are spending their time acquiring
"thought." After a while you will see that redirecting your
life this way gives you more peace of mind and less worry. You will
want to continue in this derech, this way. You'll want to share your
thoughts and ideas with your family and neighbor/friends and you may
influence them to be introspective about their own life. This is all
positive and part of the purpose of the commandment to "Love your
neighbor as yourself All the good that your new direction brings, you
will want for your neighbor too. This is what creates peace between
people and pulls us away from the evils of envy and jealousy, which
began in the first place because you wanted and thought you needed to
have what your neighbor has. "Who is happy? One who is happy with
their lot." Psalms 119:99
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